Husband of One Wife: Worship in the Church

The church will always have disagreements on how to interpret the Bible and how to run or operate a church. When discussing these issues the church needs to be careful not to fight one another, but healthily encourage and edify one another through questioning. To begin, one must realize that he/she is there for the church; the church is not there for him/her. If Christians can grasp this fact many of the quarrels among members of the same body would dissipate. To key in on a specific disagreement among many churches, let’s look at 1 Timothy 3: 2, 12. In this chapter Paul is giving the qualifications of an elder and a deacon. An elder is supposed to be a mature Christian in the church according to John Calvin. Luther says they are to be strictly preachers. Deacons are to be the servants of the church aiding the widows and orphans. Churches will sometimes distinguish the two from each other by voting. Deacons, sometimes will not vote. One specific phrase in these verses brings a great amount of debate to the Christian community- “husband of one wife”. What does this mean? It has become a modern day scarlet letter and requires attention. There are only nine different ways possible to interpret this little phrase. It means either (1) single pastors are not allowed, (2) spouse of pastor cannot be divorced either, (3) pastor cannot remarry even if his spouse dies, (4) the wife must be living, (5) only one wife after salvation and it does not matter how may before salvation, (6) if the wife leaves the pastor cannot remarry, (7) one wife except if left the pastor can remarry, (8) one wife except for infidelity, or finally (9) one wife at a time. Regardless of what position taken, while looking at the options it is important to remember to take into account God’s laws and also His grace. While this is definitely a rule that must be considered, we need to realize that God’s grace can cover sin. Empathetically, put yourself in a situation where you need a job as a pastor, are called to do so, but are also divorced. Your wife left you and you fought to keep the marriage. Would God not have grace and mercy on that person? If the answer is “yes, God would have mercy”, then the church should as well. Remember, Jesus gave mercy to the adulterer who was caught in the act. The church is too quick to condemn others forgetting we are all sinners. It is my belief that as long as the husband was honoring the sanctity of marriage by fighting against divorce, the church cannot fault him for his wife’s actions and should be given the position if the other requirements are also met.