First Kiss

Let me take you back to an important memory of mine. This story took place about six years ago at a place called Myrtle Beach.

            A week long vacation with my girlfriend’s family at the beach is coming to an end. It is a very cold Friday evening complete with gushes of coastal wind whistling through the freshly painted rails of the balcony. Stefani and I, unaware of what each other were thinking, were both reflecting over the past week and how much we had enjoyed each other’s company.

“Hey Stef! Remember when you yelled ‘Brent, wave!’ and I said ‘To who?’ right when the wave crashed over my head?”

“Yeah! That was so funny. You’re such an idiot!” Stefani replied.

            The conversation continued back and forth for some time. While that conversation was happening, I had another conversation going on inside of my head, which could have been the reason for my lack of talking during the whole discussion.

            “Brent, go for it. It is the perfect time! You will not get another chance like this!” But then, “Are you crazy? What if she doesn’t want to?”

            As you might have guessed, I was contemplating on whether or not I should try to experience my first kiss. So many thoughts were buzzing through my head and what was only about twenty minutes, seemed like a lifetime. The air was cold and thin as the wind blew briskly across our skin. The moonlight subtly lit the balcony with a romantic glow while the sound of the ocean made for a relaxing environment. Blankets were wrapped tight around both of us as we sat side by side in plastic white chairs almost whispering our conversation.

Suddenly, my girlfriend’s mom cracks the door open and tells us to be inside in ten minutes because it was getting dark. My heart almost leaped out of my mouth because I knew my time was running short. The palms of my hands began to feel very cold due to the excess of moisture on them. My heart was pounding with unbelievable force making me think it could very well make me fall out of my chair. My blood pressure rose and my mind raced as I was wondering if this would turn out how I had previously imagined. I had to initiate something or a perfect chance for my first kiss would be forever lost. I took a deep breath as I let out these words:

“Stef, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”, Stefani responded. That was a short response, I thought. Does she know what is coming? Am I too obvious? Calm down Brent. Speak, just speak!

“I’m not sure how to ask this but I’ve been thinking about something all week (which I had) and I was wondering if I could…kiss you?”

At that moment Stefani’s shoulders began to ease up around her neck and her nose crinkled as it always does when something wonderful is about to happen. She very bashfully shook her head up and down, but her eyes told a different story though. They said, “It’s about time!”

My whole body breathed a sigh of relief with her response. She had said yes. But as quickly as my body relaxed, it became tense again staring at the empty space between our lips I was about to remove. I leaned in cautiously, but anxiously, toward her and in the perfect atmosphere, our lips touched.

A feeling so incredible rushed over my body! It is a feeling that can only be understood by someone who has experienced it. A tingle went from my lips and traveled all the way to my toes.  My head spun with exhilaration while my heart still pumped with unbelievable force.

I never knew a single moment could be so wonderful. I knew then that my desire to be loved was not an impossibility. I realized for the first time how wonderful the gift of love is from our Creator. Our love for each other on earth mimics the love that Jesus Christ has for us, but with one exception. His love is flawless and unconditional. How great is the Father’s love for us!

My first kiss -how wonderful! It was comforting, special, and unique. I could not have asked for a better time, place, and setting. Stefani and I are still dating to this day. It has been six years and three months.

Avoiding Responsibility

Norman Geisler wrote a book about the popular free will versus sovereignty debate called Chosen but Free. I would like to start off my post by stating my position. I would call myself, based on this book, a moderate Calvinist. I believe in a balanced view of God’s sovereignty and man’s free will. The Bible talks about both; so there is no denying that both have its place in Theology.  I lean more toward a moderate Calvinist more than a moderate Armenian because I tend to believe once saved, always saved. I have to be careful, here, to admit that I am still “working out my salvation” in regards to this point. I have heard more that once saved, always saved so I tend toward that view. I realize that I need to work this out myself and not rely just on what others interpretations of the Scriptures are.

            When I was reading the beginning chapters I felt my stomach turn when the author was mentioning both extreme views. I value his non-judgmental approach, bringing balance to a controversial subject. I want to focus on chapter four and briefly state my opinion. Geisler’s premise was this: if God knows everything we are going to do and our free will cannot change that, then the future cannot be changed. Therefore, the conclusion is, we are not responsible for any of our actions whether good or bad. This is an extreme view of God’s sovereignty and does not take into account man’s free will. Given this premise, the human race is completely “off the hook.” It negates that all of mankind knows we are responsible for our own actions. When a bad deed goes unpunished, we are quick to seek justice. Why? Because we believe that person should be held responsible for his/her actions. Geisler points this out and I agree with his positions that all humans are responsible for their own sinful condition.

            Another interesting concept is that Christians sometimes say “God allowed this [bad thing] to happen.” They say God did not cause the evil, but just allowed it to happen. An extreme Calvinist could never hold to this viewpoint. God could have given the person who caused the bad thing the desire to always do good therefore avoiding the sin. Because He did not do this and He controls all things God has to be held responsible for the sinful act. The Bible clearly states in James 1:13-14 that God is not the author of sin but mankind is.

            Frequently, the devil is blamed as the person behind the sin. Who made Lucifer sin? By using the same argument above, God would have to ultimately be blamed. God cannot be against God; that is a contradiction. Therefore, Lucifer had to sin on his own free will showing that we too have a free will.

            The bible, from start to finish, from before the Fall and after the Fall have free will. You cannot deny this fact. The truth then is this: “God nor the devil made me do it, I did.” Mankind has always tried to explain away his/her sense of responsibility, but our actions are, in fact, ours.

Husband of One Wife: Worship in the Church

The church will always have disagreements on how to interpret the Bible and how to run or operate a church. When discussing these issues the church needs to be careful not to fight one another, but healthily encourage and edify one another through questioning. To begin, one must realize that he/she is there for the church; the church is not there for him/her. If Christians can grasp this fact many of the quarrels among members of the same body would dissipate. To key in on a specific disagreement among many churches, let’s look at 1 Timothy 3: 2, 12. In this chapter Paul is giving the qualifications of an elder and a deacon. An elder is supposed to be a mature Christian in the church according to John Calvin. Luther says they are to be strictly preachers. Deacons are to be the servants of the church aiding the widows and orphans. Churches will sometimes distinguish the two from each other by voting. Deacons, sometimes will not vote. One specific phrase in these verses brings a great amount of debate to the Christian community- “husband of one wife”. What does this mean? It has become a modern day scarlet letter and requires attention. There are only nine different ways possible to interpret this little phrase. It means either (1) single pastors are not allowed, (2) spouse of pastor cannot be divorced either, (3) pastor cannot remarry even if his spouse dies, (4) the wife must be living, (5) only one wife after salvation and it does not matter how may before salvation, (6) if the wife leaves the pastor cannot remarry, (7) one wife except if left the pastor can remarry, (8) one wife except for infidelity, or finally (9) one wife at a time. Regardless of what position taken, while looking at the options it is important to remember to take into account God’s laws and also His grace. While this is definitely a rule that must be considered, we need to realize that God’s grace can cover sin. Empathetically, put yourself in a situation where you need a job as a pastor, are called to do so, but are also divorced. Your wife left you and you fought to keep the marriage. Would God not have grace and mercy on that person? If the answer is “yes, God would have mercy”, then the church should as well. Remember, Jesus gave mercy to the adulterer who was caught in the act. The church is too quick to condemn others forgetting we are all sinners. It is my belief that as long as the husband was honoring the sanctity of marriage by fighting against divorce, the church cannot fault him for his wife’s actions and should be given the position if the other requirements are also met.

My Testimony

When I was six years old my church held a Vacation Bible School or VBS. A VBS is a week long event that some churches hold every summer for children. There are arts and crafts, games, competition, singing, and at the end of each night a sermon. At the end of each night the pastor of my church would get up in front of us and talk to us about the Bible and what it meant to us. Wednesday night was a special night of the week because my pastor would not only talk to us about the Bible but would draw us a picture using chalk. He was a very talented chalk artist. He picked a story out of the Bible and drew it out for us. He divided the canvas in half and on the top side he drew a castle shining with angels with wings flying around it. It was very beautiful and bright. A place anyone would want to vacation. On the lower half was completely the opposite of that. He drew flames licking the faces of people who looked to be burning and screaming. No one, as far as I was concerned wanted to go there. Then he turned off all the lights and drew something on the canvas that didn't show up. Then he turned the black light on and the words he wrote shown up. On the top he wrote heaven and the bottom hell. So he presented us with two places and said that Jesus lives in heaven and Satan lives in hell. They both want you to come and live with them, but you have a choice to make. He said that automatically we are going to hell because we are sinners; we have lied and cheated and done wrong. But, Jesus knowing we didn't want to go there made a way to save us from that place. All we have to do is believe in that way and we will be saved from hell. He made me see that night that I was a bad person and was going to hell and needed Jesus to get my out; be my Savior. My cousins were there with me and I was scared to accept Jesus as my Savior in front of them. The pastor asked everyone to close their eyes and the people who wanted Jesus to come forward. Despite my fear, I did. Someone took me to a room and read from the Bible the verses that tell me I am a sinner and need Jesus. Then I prayed to God asking Him to be with me throughout my life and when I die to take me to heaven and not hell. I asked Him to forgive me from all the bad things I have done. It was the best decision I ever made!

I'M BACK!

I got tired of blogging and took off for a year but now I'm back. My love for blogging was revived by a forced project in my Theology class :)

The things we do for football

This past weekend at LU we had our non-conference competition with JMU. I camped outside the football stadium with nothing but a tarp to lay on and a towel for a blanket. Did i mention? It was also raining...the whole night! I woke up at ten and stood in line, in the rain, until four thirty when they opened the gates. My friends and I took shifts for lunch. We ended making a "hobo dwelling" with the tarp over us and cardboard to sit on! Anyways, the gate opened and then had to stand in the rain for three more hours! The game started and the rain picked up. I was soaked from head to toe. Then the wind started to blow making it freezing cold. My body was rendered immobile. I couldn't move and I was having muscles spasms. After all that...LU lost :( It was the most miserable night of my life. All in the name of football :)

Methodology vs. Conviction

Over the past couple of days I have been thinking about the church and how it just "goes". Most of the time we don't even think about "The Why" behind the things we do and the traditions we incorporate into the Christian system of doing things. We tend to look at it as just a weekly mechanical process we are expected to do.
It's like knowing the why behind CPR. You know how to do it, but if you fail to realize the importance of it, someones life could be at stake. Someone could be dying and since you know how to do CPR you give it a try. You do it half heartily, placing your hands in the wrong position, sporadically giving mouth to mouth and then when you decide you've done enough you get up and go about your business.
Is that how we have begun to approach church? Have we failed to realize the importance of church discipline, communion, service, outreach, youth group, invitations, and counseling?
You see, if we do not understand the importance behind a concept we do not have a heart for it. Importance is the catalyst for commitment and commitment is the catalyst for passion. We need passionate people in the church who take their contribution to the body of Christ seriously and put their all into it. It involves conviction.
"Convictions are built, not by practicing the method, but by understanding the principle." - Walter Henrichsen (Disciples are Made not Born)
Without principle communion becomes a Sunday afternoon snack. Without principle door to door witnessing becomes healthy exercise. Without principle daily devotions becomes a chore, public praying becomes a speech contest, and the church becomes a business. Without principle worship becomes a popularity contest between bands. The principle behind what we are doing is very important to understand. We need to take time to think about what we are doing and research the why behind our actions. There is nothing wrong with tradition unless we do it only because we always have and not because we seriously think we are doing it to glorify God. Methodology should not be our focus, rather heartfelt convictions about why the church operates the way it does.
If we focus on methods we close our minds to new and possibly better ways of functioning. Why? Because change becomes a threat. We need biblical conviction back into our churches.